#depression #borderline #mentalhealth
So if been fired/let go/ ignored I guess from several work places including a work skills employment program the last one not really my fault I’ll admit the first 2 I didn’t actually show up to work sooooo I mean what else could they do. I haven’t been posting as much as I should or want to. I’ve got the “stupid/worthless/dumb” bug which I think a lot of people get so they just don’t speak up. I used to always speak up and honestly yes you do get into a lot of fights and sometimes you lose everything, horribly and embarrassingly. But I actually like that honest person a lot more… It’s not like their life was any better or worse than mine is now (better actually) and I wasn’t left with huge regrets and inner anger.
I’m getting really tired of not being a useful person in the work sense but it is also the side effects of living in a big city with mental illness. I live in the warmest part of Canada and so everyone aspires to move here. Everyone with 20 years experience and 5 degrees and a trade making no room for fuck ups like me. I mean I’m not gonna be one of those people that are super mad and blaming the government for this…If I had a business I’d want someone who would show up too. I just can’t seem to pull myself up by my boot straps which according to physics is not really possible anyways. I can for a maybe 10 days per month…
Anyways, reading other people’s struggles with daily life who have mental illness really makes me feel OK and not like a lazy piece of shit.