Fuck you higher learning, you are ruining my love of biology, MAJOR life transition maybe JUST MAKE A DECISION AND STICK TO IT DAMMIT SELF

This has pretty much been my life the past 3 years. It has taken a toll on me severely and now that I found that I have to redo courses since I switched institutions in order to save money (which previously they said it’s ok we take all your credits…), I pretty much lost it and started storming down the hall way trying not to cry. I don’t have any passion anymore for learning, I mean I do and I don’t. It’s hard, I love biology but the debt I have incurred and the lack of motivation compared to the chipper 19 year olds….I just really want to do upper level courses (since I already have). Another huge demotivator, is the fact I have plenty of friends with biology degrees, and MASTERS in biology degrees that are constantly getting laid off/regretting their decisions/ not getting any work/being hunted down by debt collectors. Many of my friends managed to graduate sooner than me, because I have depression and have failed entire semesters. I can’t handle taking more than 3 hard courses at a time, anymore. (I did for a couple semesters…not sure how….).I can’t stop thinking about the end picture and MONEY. BUT AT THE SAME I FEEL LIKE SLAVE TO MONEY. Basically no control and deep regret and anger (all the bad emotions). Anyways, I want a career now so I better either take this computer programming seriously or get into to something medical that = a job (that I also don’t hate and can pay off debt).

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