So I saw my wonderfulish psychiatrist again today.  I told her about how the trazedone is not helping me sleep in the right way. It just makes me want to sleep always but that’s something I struggle with and I don’t need encouragement. My dog is no help as he sleeps all day too and licks his specific paw from his anxiety issues.

She prescribed me the Abilify, I was hesitant as there is significant weight gains with this drug (and most for that matter but especially this one).

Because I was a cutter, and because the DSM-4 says it’s a trait of borderline personality disorder, and because I think about suicide quite often…

My doc has referred me to get some dialectical behavior therapy DBT counselling. I have to meet some dumb criteria to see if I have borderline disorder. I am a logical person and I am so logical I find it very hard to fall in love or enjoy people sometimes. I never think “Oh, man why meeeeee”

Actually that’s a lie. But as an atheist and a person with knowledge of genetics I just well say fuck it whatever. I like to this Amanda Fucking Palmer song, “Runs in the Family” (link will open in new window).

Her lyrics are AMAZING! Check out some of these lines from the above song:

It is inherited, predisposition–
All day I’ve been wondering what is inside of me?
Who can I blame for it? I say–
It runs in the family

ME TOO, Palmer, me too….


About depressionica

Young sciency/arsty/etc girl who is highly interested in her own problem, depression and mental illness. She takes the scientific approach and is constantly reading new research and self-help books.

One response »

  1. When I first heard this song months ago I just smiled, I related so much and it reminded me of a lot of people I know. I find the song sort of mocks the idea that something that happened to our great-great-great-great-great grandfather could still effect of us today, a little bit of a satire.

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