I love music I listen to the radio while I’m driving to work in rush hour traffic while blue herons and eagles sometimes fly over top of me which does make me happy. I am happy for them. I love birds. And it would make me angry if they all died off for an ecological reason.

Maybe it’s the people I’m around but ever since my last ECT, this bought of depression I’ve had for the past few years and especially in the past few months I can’t fall in love. I find people hot, want to do them, befriend them, date them, etc but I wouldn’t go out of my way for anything. I don’t want to breed either which makes sense because feeling depressed also sorta feels like I have the flu and also being stressed out is probably not a good time to make a baby and my body knows that, I guess. The older I get the less I want to be an adult and deal with adult things.

Songs are constantly about love which sometimes angers me deeply and I prefer lyrics not about love lately (it’s a rarity to find on the radio though). Love and sex are a motivating force in majority of people’s lives at least one or the other (I think).

Anyways, my friends told me about this TED talks, Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat mainly cause she talks about how anti-depressants kill this love thingy,

Skip to 18:04 and she talks about her worry about how SSRIs fuck up dopamine and thus orgasms and loving and pleasure in certain people. 

Do I want to be in love and feel like I am missing out? Not really, maybe orgasms. If it motivated to do things like go to the gym and better myself then yes I think it would be practical. 


About depressionica

Young sciency/arsty/etc girl who is highly interested in her own problem, depression and mental illness. She takes the scientific approach and is constantly reading new research and self-help books.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s