I haven’t had time or bothered to post lately. I have had 16 ECTs and quit a couple months ago. I HAVE had significant memory loss I am extremely pissed off about. Well they said it “could happen” and that this was “the safest treatment, even safer than drugs”. I ranted about this to a walk-in clinic doctor last night when I was getting a refill for cymbalta which doesn’t really work it just “takes the edge off” as in it keeps me from getting so low I am cutting, and doing very self destructive things. I still have a serious self sabotage problem which I am trying to work on. And also trying to be more of an optimist, instead of a self blaming pessimist. I sorta randomly got a well paying full time job so YAY! But I actually quite the wreck when I got it so in a way it is keeping me, sorta, living well? Less time to self sabotage and less time to lay around, and think bad thoughts. Although, evenings are usually the worst for me (not that getting out of bed isn’t an extreme challenge).