I haven’t posted in awhile but I am going for my 15th ECT at 7am tomorrow (yay?). I have felt significantly better after the last one. Yes, I’ve had some more memory loss but as soon as someone describes an event I remember it and I had that problem before especially when super depressed. I am still on cymbalta I would love to stop and go off of it. Withdrawal suuuuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkksssss though, I’ve done it before. It mostly just gives me insomnia and dizzy spells. Anyways, I am pretty sure the O.R. nurse who looked around my age (mid 20s), was also on anti-depressants because we were complaining about the weight gain problems (my 50 pounds) and hers about the same. The nice French lady was getting ECT done with me. And I got to speak French to her which made her happy. I don’t exactly like telling people about my ECT treatments, because I am young and I would like to have a good career and people are still extremely judgmental(they could probably find other things to judge me about/or hire me because they want to sleep with me). Sometimes, I forget which friends I’ve told and which I haven’t. I don’t care that much about the judgement part unless it is used against me or in some way prevents me from something. Well, I am still alive and if anything I am mentally sharper.

I forgot to mention that my psychiatrist asked me if maybe I could cut down on treatments maybe once every 2 weeks. I am guessing there is probably a great demand for the treatments and not enough space. Thank Buddha I’m in Canada and have health care (although medication coverage is hard to get at times) I don’t have to pay for this treatment (doc, 3 OR nurses, 2 psych nurses, anesthesiologist, etc). BON! Si les chose change, je partir, tous le monde droit le soigner! Si tout le monde est en bonne santé, tous le monde fonctionne, est heureuses. : )If things change, I am leaving. How can people contribute to society if they are sick? How can there be health standards if it’s private?

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About depressionica

Young sciency/arsty/etc girl who is highly interested in her own problem, depression and mental illness. She takes the scientific approach and is constantly reading new research and self-help books.

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