So my doc amazingly listened to my cry for help and I didn’t even have to cry!!
I have actually been doing really terribly since my wonderful “actually feeling normal for the first time in my life” feelings wore off from the previous 8 ECTs.
I have been lying about looking for work/school stuff since I have been sleeping most of the day. It’s just so much easier to lie. Honestly, I did try telling the truth but when you have something that isn’t physical people just can’t understand when you need to sleep 15 hours a day. And no I don’t need to sleep 15 hours a day, I really don’t. I just can’t stand being alive when I am awake and if I am not trying to do good things with my time I feel guilty. I dunno. I think it’s a big issue when you have mental health problems because people can’t see you are physically sick. So, I dunno it’s hard. YES I DO WISH I COULD SNAP OUT OF THIS. And everyday I hope for it, and when I was younger, a teenager I would occasionally snap into a self-destructive manic stage. Those stages barely happen now. I can use them to accomplish things sometimes.