I am going to post a link to an extremely sad youtube video of a girl who lived and went to school close to me. I have a lot in common with her. I was too prompted by older men (and younger) to flash them on webcam and also got cyber bullied. I know I would have also been text bullied if it were popular back in the day. I always thought I was ugly because of it and only had a small group of friends that were called “sluts, bitches, whores, crackheads, stupid, etc. And of course the older boys tried to sleep with us. We drank a lot with them as they were always over 19 years old when we were 13, 14 ,15 and smoked weed. we got into strangers cars ,got people to “boot” for us etc. Well, after a big friendship break up that caused me to change schools I was lucky because I had a popular boyfriend (who was also 5 years older than me) and no one fucked with me too much as for some reason everyone loved my boyfriend. I think one time I told him I was threatened he showed up at so and so’s house with his friends and yeah he did stuff like that for me. It didn’t mean I wasn’t scared 99% of the time. People I knew started doing meth and it really makes people hate people for no reason. Yeah I was nervous all the time and apparently I barely ate…Now that I look back I see that girls were often jealous of me, my weight, my face, my bf, and my upper middle class clothes and lifestyle. And boy did they let me know how much they hated that with nice remarks grabbing my side “You’re sooooo skiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyy” always in the same tone. I felt like shit. I cut myself. I remember the goths yelling at me because they noticed I cut myself and said I was “copying them.” My response to most comments was nothing. I didn’t have anything to say to any of that. I am hoping there will be a memorial dedicated to this young girl, because it could have been me

Here is Amanda Todd’s Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vOHXGNx-E7E

This IS NOT going to stop bullying. Bullying is much easier now with Facebook and Texting…It’s harder to just go home and leave crap at school. I don’t know an answer to be honest…We had people come to our school to talk about bullying, suicide, cutting, sexual predators but after the assemblies people immediately joked about it or laughed it off. So I don’t think these speakers help as much as the schools think they do.


About depressionica

Young sciency/arsty/etc girl who is highly interested in her own problem, depression and mental illness. She takes the scientific approach and is constantly reading new research and self-help books.

One response »

  1. The weirdest part is, once I entered University, and started having long conversations with new friends I realized this wasn’t the norm. Not every girl had older men (and younger men) constantly trying to get them to drink and have sexual relations with them. Which I actually found weird because I was young and immature I thought my world was my bubble and somehow there was no alternative. Maybe certain girls with certain looks are targeted. I am now far more aware of how I present myself including how I feel (I can fake happy or satisfied or confident like a pro and sometimes I actually feel those ways : P) At clubs though this doesn’t work….

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