The one thing about depression that seemed to relieve it was cutting. I did try hard to avoid it and I have not done it in almost a year, however, it was very relaxing. It was an easy form of relief. When I get paranoid that people are trying to hurt me, attack me, hiding in dark corners etc. it seems I am terrified of pain or getting hurt. I am about to scream when I go downstairs I am just so convinced for no reason someone is there. I honestly don’t know what is worse paranoia or depression. When I didn’t really care what happens to me and purposely hurt myself, I felt somewhat invincible. I am hoping this paranoia will go away soon as I can’t seem to relieve it. Sleeping doesn’t help as I have crazy super realistic dreams due to the cymbalta (one big reason I want off of it). I force myself to smile often as it does make me feel slightly better and I know I need to get some exercise.

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About depressionica

Young sciency/arsty/etc girl who is highly interested in her own problem, depression and mental illness. She takes the scientific approach and is constantly reading new research and self-help books.

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