I have been told I am a highly functioning depressed person. I probably have spent more of my life sleeping than awake so I don’t exactly consider myself highly functioning. I sleep about 10 hours a day and up to 20 hours a day sometimes when I really want to avoid life. Lately, it’s been around 12 hours a day. Surprisingly enough, I am proud of myself when I stay up past midnight and when I wake up before 9 am. It really is an accomplishment to me. I have looked up “sleep addiction” before in google and there are a lot of other people in this world who say the same thing. When I was in my teens I don’t think I liked sleeping as much and tended to be able to wake up for enjoyable more enjoyable days such as to go on a trip. But now my mind wants to choose sleep over almost anything, even hunger no longer wakes me up in the morning. (might also be my metabolism has slowed down significantly from the medication though).

I find when I speak to other depressed people, they can’t get out of the house, they don’t have hobbies, they are not seeing friends, they are not running errands, going to the doctor, cooking for themselves so in comparison I seem pretty functional since I am doing all of these things. It takes a lot of will power for me to do these things and sometimes alcohol helps with the going and doing stuff. It does give me energy but also makes it a lot easier to cry and get upset although it’s not the same kind of depressed I get at night. My depression hits me at night the worst, I am guessing because I am tired. Most people tend to be depressed in the morning though. In the morning, I feel extra tired the more depressed I am but I still have a day ahead to see if my overall mood will improve so I am not thinking about my depression for at least a couple of hours. 

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About depressionica

Young sciency/arsty/etc girl who is highly interested in her own problem, depression and mental illness. She takes the scientific approach and is constantly reading new research and self-help books.

One response »

  1. Miriam says:

    I can really relate to this; my depression is more about exhaustion and the emotional aspects of it tend to hit at night rather than in the morning.

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